(In The Scheme Of Things)
You have to worry about something bigger than yourself. If only to get a sense of perspective. After all, as individuals, you and me, we are brief, inconsequential things.
And that’s fine. And I think that’s an old thought. But you still have to live with yourself. And you, like me, are alone behind your eyes. And I think that’s an old thought too.
The Better I Get The Worse I Get
The better I get the worse I get, because as I get better so I gain a greater ability to be self-aware. And that self-awareness probes further. And so I know more about how I am in all its grubby, tired reality.
At the same time, the better I get so people around me think the better I am. And so the disjunction between how I feel and how others think I am is amplified.
Thus the clash between how I am and how I appear is both internal and external – in my brain and in how my brain – i.e. me – is perceived by others.
And in my brain it’s a hard, resounding clash.
Arguably … thoughts and feelings might be both generated and governed by any number of factors. Something witnessed, something remembered or whatever. And colours, too need to be factored in. A grey sky to bring on a grey mood – and so on. And who knows what else.
With that in mind, the real focus ought to lie in your own understanding of how all the factors buffeting you are acting and interacting at any given moment.